okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
