i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
