help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
