I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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