Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
