wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
