Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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