I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
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