I seem to have left my pride at pride
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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