last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i dont even know how to be here
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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