I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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