Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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