He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
