You're a womanizer and a bitch.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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