did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
