found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
