Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
