Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
