I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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