how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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