Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize