I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
