Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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