he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I wish I only lived at night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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