I'm jealous of your bromance
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
