Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
where am i from again
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
