Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
