ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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