yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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