I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
