last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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