Nicole vs. Life
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
