Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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