oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
