You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Randomize
