Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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