Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
