hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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