I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
