But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
