Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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