I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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