Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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