you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I cut my penus on the lid.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
