I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
