Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
