everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
