So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
