you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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