she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
