just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
