it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
