I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Randomize
