oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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