i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
