batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
