I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
